Before I begin, I would like to preface (apparently pronounced “pre-fās” by the Greater Society of YouTube Film Critics) a few words of introduction. Over the course of the past few years, I have observed an up-swing in video essays for film and tv. There is no doubt that some of these critiques are well made, well executed pieces. But the market has become so completely over-saturated that it is impossible to find quality content among an endless sea of brainless pretentious think pieces. Also any critic who read that last line, believing their own work to be exempt from this scrutiny, is most certainly part of the problem. They should also be shot and buried among the lemon trees.

Now with that out of the way. Let me show you how its done.

Shrek is a pretty great movie. I mean look at it. It’s got a big green monster for its protagonist, a talking donkey sidekick, a lore stitched from the rotting corpses of ye ol fairy tales and neat 2000s bastardized computer animation. One could read this and simply be satisfied. But were the executives over at Dreamworks satisfied? Of course they were! They were really satisfied! So they green lit a franchise and kicked off the next installment with the juggernaut, Shrek 2.

“A gargantuan task it would be, to pinpoint how Shrek 2 stood above all others. Good it is.” -Master Yoda, a fellow ‘Greenie.’

This quote summarizes all the points I wish to make in this video/piece of digital paper. You can stop watching/looking bewilderingly at your computer monitor, now. That’s right shut everything off, boil some water, put your slippers on, strip down naked, poor that scolding liquid into your favorite hat, throw some ice cubes in there so you don’t burn your nipples and go to sleep. There’s nothing left for me to say folks.

However, for the sake of poorly allocated leisure time, I’ll proceed. In order to really get into the nuts and bolts of this fantastic piece of media–one that will surely stand the test of time–we must ask ourselves: “What the heck is an Ogre?”

Ogres date back as far as the first Shrek film, where they held prominent roles in society as civil servants or political adversaries. It may appear glamorous and fulfilling but would consistently receive the sharp end of the populist aggression pitchfork. This metaphor was carried by the unruly middle class, terrified they’re jobs were going to go to the ogres and imaginary characters of their day. Despite this strife, the ogre was able to rise above the man’s pettiness and achieve great things. Such as: conquering dragons, fighting oppressive monarchs, forming long lasting friendships with baked goods and converting half breeds. These accomplishments seem insignificant in comparison to monumental victories for ogres in Shrek 2. Such as: marrying into royalty, redefining love, dismantling an overzealous corporation, biological transmogrification, sieging an enemy fortress atop giant baked goods, banging.

One could go on and on about the many strides for ogres each film made, but it was truly Shrek 2 that reigned above all others as the definitive pro-ogre statement. The story that shined with green brilliance. Illuminating all those that needed its swampy light.

But ogres aren’t the only takeaway from this masterpiece.

Oh wait… yes they are.

Well that’s it. Good Night.

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